This is where I do the happy dance. The Last Amazon has informed me her first term mark in grade 11 physics is 97%. She always like the physics portions of science and had planned on pursuing a physics based career until she hit grades 9 & 10. The physics portion of her science classes were her lowest and weakest marks so she revised her career goals. She harbored a certain amount of dread and loathing at the thought of needing to take a full course of physics this year and next.
My personal theory is that she was exposed to elementary base theories for the first time and it was a new way of thinking which took time to intellectually digest, retain and learn to apply. Frankly, I attribute her success to three things; genetics, a stellar work ethic and the no dating rule.
The benefits of the no dating rule are positively amazing. It takes out a great deal of stress from their teenage lives and leaves a vacuum in which they can develop interests outside of attracting a date which ultimately makes them far more attractive as a potential date in the long term. It also gives teens the opportunity to observe the pitfalls of teen dating/relationships first hand. Nothing beats watching other teens tear each other hearts out. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out it also gives teens sufficient time to complete their assignments and homework.
But the no-dating rule will not work unless they understand the no-dating rule from an early age. Nothing beats early psychological imprinting and a righteous fear of the wrath of your mother. Did I also mention she plays hockey?
2 comments:
This post intrigues me. I have two daughters, and dread the day that they'll start liking boys and I'll have to get a gun permit.
Seriously, though, what are the ground rules of the no-dating policy; and when did it start?
My basic parental philosophy is that everything and every circumstance is a life lesson. For example, when Kikibird was about 4, a friend's 14 year old daughter got her heart broken by the boy she was seeing.
Lots of tsk, tsk from me, eyerolling, and what do you expect when you start to date so young etc..at that age etc., such a shame in one so young to have to suffer, tsk, tsk.
Television can present great life lessons in what not to do or how to live your life. We rarely let the children watch television alone, and what we did watch became the basis of a great deal of what was discussed, highlighting our interpretation which reflected our values.
We also took great pains to make our children understand that the only reason to date was to look for a life mate. The word dating comes from data, and the act of dating meant to collect data to make a suitable choice for a mate. We never presented dating as a frivolous past-time or a way to kill a few hours.
Luckily for me, Kikibird's father was even more strict. He thought 21 was just barely old enough and then only with your brothers accompanying you and......
Also, he took great pains to explain to our daughter how men often preceived women who date a great deal (forget about the rightness or wrongness of such attitudes), and what could be considered undesirable traits in a wife.
I had a bit of a hard time when Kikibird first entered highschool. I told her what I would review the "no-dating rule" in 6 months time but in that period she was just to strictly observe her friends dating and give regular up dates at the dinner table. If she did that, I would review the "no-dating rule".
Six months of keen observation went by on her part and suddenly the "no dating rule" was no longer an issue. Some of the things that went on at that very private prep school were absolutely outrageous. One girl (14yrs old) in Kikibird's class posed nude in front of her bedroom webcam for her boyfriend.
I guess he captured screenshots and when they broke up, he posted those nude pictures of her over the internet. It was an incredibly mortifying experience for the girl and a reality check for my daughter. It also helps if they have a great deal of other interests where they can develop friendships. All the children have played sports from an early age. Swimming is a great competitive sport for very young girls.
The idea is to get the children into the habit of being engaged mentally, and physically. Also, I think its a good thing to teach modesty as a value early in life. I don't mean being a prude or intolerant but modesty is also a state of mind and a way of viewing the value of oneself. My last two cents is get the gun too.
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