Much ado about nothing

I haven’t blogged about Ann Coutler to either “defend” or “denounce” her. While it is true that Ann and I share certain things in common. We are both female, allegedly conservative and we possess long blond hair. But mine is longer. Nor do I have Ann’s dark roots. My roots are mostly a light gray/white colour. She writes books which make money; while I am struggling to finish my first novel which has probably already cost me money. Unlike Ann, no one would mistake me for a twig. A trunk, a branch or even a bad weed - but never a twig. If we stood beside each other you would see I am shorter.

Besides I get mistaken for a Russian all the time. In fact, one of the most common things Russians have said to me throughout the years is how much I remind them of such and such back in Russia. Usually they get all teary eyed when they say it – even without the vodka. I have heard this so often that I suspect Russia is inhibited by a million clones of me. The older I get the more scared I am to wear a headscarf and end up as every ex-pat Russian’s babushka. One day I really must go to see for myself. Think about it. I will be one of the few people who would be able to write that I went to Russia to find myself. I cannot say for sure about Ann but I bet no one mistakes her for a Russian.

People throw things like cream pies at Ann. No one has ever thrown anything soft like a cream pie at me. Tables, chairs, dishes, pots, beer bottles, knives but never a pie. Ann likes to think we share the same deity but I harbour very specific doubts about that. Ann believes Jesus was the Messiah and I have a hard time believing he ever existed as a historical figure. In fact, I think I could make a better case for Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson being the Messiah than Jesus. And at least with the Rebbe I know for a fact he was a trained Torah/Talmud scholar. I don’t believe he was the messiah but rather just a really good man who could serve as an example of a decent human being to us all.