It is after midnight and I woke up in pain. I cannot remember when every muscle in my legs and lower back were last so sore and achy….
I joined a new gym. I have taken to calling it the grown-up gym and I have been working with a personal trainer. I have had one session. I admit to being a little fluxed by the whole experience. You see I have been working out regularly in the last year and thought I had made great strides until Sunday when I learned I was only fooling myself.
The gym is populated mostly by these Conan the Barbarian sized men. There are a few women but they all look like these svelte and well-toned elves. Apparently, I am a great hit among the trainers who all look like they are still in high school. They are not use to middle aged women who openly admit to wanting to put on as much muscle as humanly possible.
Apparently, there was a lottery to see who would have the privilege of ‘beating me up regularly’. This is what passes for hip gym lingo. At first, I thought I had misheard and asked the manager to repeat himself which he did. Then I thought it had a kind of a weird sexual overtone to it. But then I thought, nah, can’t be. It must be just another abuse of language by pop culture. Now I realize it is just an understatement of fact.
My trainer made me realize I don’t have to really work harder but I do have to work a great deal smarter. She gave me a very simple but effective work out for my legs, abs and lower back. A vertical leg press, a few leg curls, reverse lunges and I am ready to cry. Do you know one of the reasons I believe in one loving just G-d? Liquid Advil.