Thursday, August 31, 2006

Sand on front steps cures Lesbianism - Who Knew?

I really don’t bother with these kinds of articles much. This one struck me as so bizarre and outlandish that I had to post it. I was reading it and suddenly had a vision of a million men rushing out to buy sand to pour on their front steps to protect their wives from "lesbianism", and then, I had another bizarre image of a million men/women rushing out to keep the front steps swept free of all sand.
Taken from Ynet story:
My wife has become a lesbian", a terrified husband told his rabbi. The rabbi gave him a sack and assured him: it contains special sand, simply pour it on your her lover's doorstep and when she steps on it she'll come running back.

If your partner shows lesbian tendencies and you want her to get rid of them, it's not a problem. All you have to do, according to a rabbi in Bnei Brak, is to pour "special sand" on her lover's doorstep and your wife will come running back.

This strange tale, which sounds as though it were taken from the Tales of the Wise Men of Chelem, began when a Bnei Brak resident was surprised to find out that his wife had lesbian tendencies and that she was cheating on him with another woman. She even informed him that she would like a divorce. The man panicked and turned to the city rabbi to seek his advice.

The Rabbi provided a quick magical solution: He gave him a heavy sack of sand and told him to pour it on the doorstep of his wife's lesbian lover, telling him that the moment his wife will step on it the curse will be lifted. "Your wife will come running back," he said
Things didn’t work out so well for the Hubbie or his son – read on if you want. In this day and age it is simply outrageous that people still buy this kind of nonsense. But then again, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised as millions of so-called educated people still read horoscopes and visit fortune tellers. Oddly enough, I was always taught that practicing magic and fortune telling was forbidden to any religious Jew – maybe the Rabbi was Reformed?

3 comments:

Baconeater said...

Maybe his wife never stepped in the sand, she may have avoided it, and hopped over it. Maybe her lover swept the sand away from the doorway. Other than that, I can't figure out why this didn't work.

NotClauswitz said...

The other lesson is if you want something done right, do it yourself - don't send your boy to do a man's job. ;-) That sounds awful sexist doesn't it, especially given the story!? I have always viewed divination schemes and gypsy shamanism as attempts to place an artfully contrived filter over things, to see or "reveal" what stands out. There's a lot of self-psychology involved, and a lot of wasted time and effort.

no sleep said...

I suspect, back somewhere in the mists of time, this magical act had its beginnings in something a little more prosaic - like a little lesbionic pratfall by the unsuspecting lover on her sand covered stoop. Works like magic - see? From cuckolder to cripple in one easy "step".

OC