I grew up often under the influence of my Grandmother Rosie. Despite her many talents and great charisma she was also one of the most bigoted human beings I have known intimately. I learned at her knees at least 3 inflammatory names for practically all ethnics groups that have ever walked the face of the earth and then some. Rosie was not your KKK kind of bigot. She herself lived under prejudice and often experienced great emotional and physical pain as a result of being a member of a relatively obscure ethnic group. I remember being in my early twenties and her disapproval of my dating the three Sam’s caused her to cook tremendous amounts of food to deal with her despair of me which came to a head one night with her throwing down her ladle and asking me “Who did I think I was – the fucking UN?” Rosie had other values held as closely to her heart as ethnic/racial prejudice, and the three Sam’s brought her values into conflict. In the end I had no choice to make as the fates gathered together to remove choice from mine or Rosie’s hands. But there was one prejudice I thought Rosie would never lay to rest: gays and lesbians.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived for a visit about a year after I left home to discover Rosie’s boys from next door eating at her kitchen table discussing fashion, jewelry and make-up. After her “boys” left I quizzed her with what was up with that? Don’t presume that Rosie didn’t know they were gay with a capital C for camp. Anyone who spent their formative years living in the flat below a successful brothel knows which way the short and curly hangs. Turns out, Rosie was lonely. Her neighbors moved in shortly after I moved out. They went out of their way to pay attention to her and ignored her standoffishness. In the end, she got caught up in their joie de vie. She was won over by kindness and found that once she accepted their humanity a void that opened when I left home was filled.
I am going down memory lane this morning because of a conversation I had with a young co-worker whose company I enjoy. We were discussing Paul Martin’s address and the implications. “Jane” said to me, I know that you will be voting conservative in the next election and I know we never will agree on this but I can’t support them and will have to vote Liberal despite them being “thieving scum.”
Now if anyone is a natural modern conservative it is “Jane”. She wants less government control in her life. She thinks that tax cuts are imperative for business and the economy to thrive. She supports a two tiered health care system and dissolution of the gun registry. She feels that governmental spending on social programs is obscene and out of control. She is against a national daycare program as the burden is places on the taxes payers is far too high a price to be asked to pay. She remains unconvinced that compliance with the Kyoto plan is the way to go. She is deeply disturbed by the emasculation of our military and does not sleep any sounder for it. She believes that abortion is wrong but is not prepared to legislate it out of existence but would like to see some legislation on term limits. She is very pro-gay marriage, and she is very hopeful that she has finally found the woman of her dreams who she hopes will be the one she marries.
She agrees with me that the rights of the religious cannot be thrown out on the altar of political correctness and actively supports entrenching religious freedoms. She stands behind me that everyone should have civil unions and leave marriage to the religious; even if that means your Wicca priestess blesses your same or opposite sex union. That is the only way to ensure equality and religious freedom. And the real crime is; she won’t be voting conservative in the next election.
My advice to her; go take a good hard look at the conservative platform, read bloggers that are not only conservative but gay as well, and then go join the conservative party. Have a say and cast a vote to who the riding association elects to represent you in your ward. Take part in formulating policy sessions. But above all; get involved. If Conservative Party is not going to sink into oblivion and leave the country to crumble under the weight of liberal corruption, Jane and people who think just like her need to be made welcome where their political hearts and minds lie.
For the rest of us who are religious we need to make peace with our neighbors and not only recognized their humanity but acknowledge it and hold fast that there is an intrinsic quality that is common to all life just like Rosie did. We are called not to judge others who may or may not be in sin with the word of God but account only for our personal conduct. Just as all those who feel that there is only one way to the creator and feel they hold the only key to the true faith have learned to get along with others who live their lives in direct opposition to that faith have. That same goodwill needs to be extended to the gay community. Isolating and being disparaging of their humanity or contribution to society diminishes all of us and will make the country a place where no one wants to live.
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