Slippery When Wet

A wanted Al- Aqsa Martyr’s Brigade terrorist escaped a IDF dragnet by climbing out his parent’s second storey window to travel via rooftop out the back way. Apparently he left little to the imagination reports Ynet News:

"I was in the bathroom last week. It was night and I was in my parents’ house," related the terrorist, who is on Israel's most-wanted list and boasts of leading a cell responsible for six suicide bombings and scores of shooting attacks against Israeli soldiers and civilians.

"I entered to take a shower and suddenly while I was soaping myself I heard voices and people shouting. I didn't know what they were shouting but I heard the word 'jiash' (soldiers) and I understand that the Israeli army was attacking our house." (…) Continued the Brigades leader: "I went out of the bathroom and from the second floor I jumped to the roof of our neighbors. From this roof to another one and than to the street. Soldiers were already far from me at my parents’ house. I started running almost 200 meters (about 650 feet) in the camp street naked trying with acrobatic gestures to hide my buttocks and my sexual organ.

"If I saw somebody in front of me so I put one or two hands on my sexual organ; if there was nobody in front of me and I heard people speaking or laughing behind me I put my hands on my buttocks," related the terror leader. The Al Aqsa militant said he finally took refuge inside a friend's house and hid there the rest of the night. He said for him fear of arrest was far greater than the embarrassment of running nude through the refugee camp, where he is a famous figure.

"It is true that while running I felt embarrassed but the stress in which I was in was more important than the embarrassment I felt. I know that some people will speak about this idiot who ran naked but this is better than to be now in the Israeli prison.

"That was the equation – running naked and being treated for some days by the people of the camp as impolite, crazy and insane, or sitting in front investigators from the Shabak (Israeli security services) insulting me, torturing me and knowing that all my life I will be in jail. I chose the first possibility."

The terror leader, who has escaped Israeli raids in the past, admitted he was caught off guard. "I am very careful. I even sleep with my shoes but the soldiers came for the first time from the western part of the camp. They never came this way because in the middle of the road leading to the house there is the cemetery of the camp.

"Any appearance of the soldiers from any other side of the camp we would have been alerted by many people but it was in the eve of our holiday (Eid al-Fitr, the festival that ends the Muslim Ramadan) and they came from the cemetery."

He said he did not have his gun in the bathroom while taking a shower, but that he would never make that "mistake" again. "Also next time I will be more careful and I will have my shower when I am wearing my clothes," he said. “My friends in the Brigades laugh at me but my parents still feel some shame when they walk in the camp," said the terror leader.

Of course, if he had been a she – I doubt that anyone would be laughing at the requisite stoning.